The Disciples Open Up Practice With Controversy
Gimme the dang rock!!
That was the emphasis during today's team practice for The Disciples. The team is looking to implement an even more run-n-gun style of play in order to compete in their brand new uniforms and warm-ups.
"Look, we can't show up in brand new uni's and not throw up random three balls," Moss said candidly after practice. "You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take. Tingey and I have the green light to shoot whenever we see fit."
This strategy looks daunting to be implemented, and some team members question the validity of Moss's approach.
"I don't know what the hell we're doing here. I'm trying to get assists but these guys just keep hucking up bad shots and their hurting my fantasy value, quite frankly," one player was heard murmuring as he walked off the court in disgust.
Many have questioned Moss's decisions, and even more have questioned where the coaching will come into play on this team. Head coach Hugh Jeffner was out on a personal matter during practice, and many are wondering if the players are going to be able to adapt to his coaching come tip-off in 5 days.
"I mean obviously we wish [Coach] J was here, but he's gotta do what he's gotta do man, that's the way of the business. The dude has [women] hunting him down every couple hours. I mean heck I'd love to have that type of frantic lifestyle," Latino Heat stated while sipping on some Nesquik Chocolate Milk. The prolific scorer looks to improve production this year, and even stated that he thinks he can break the Notorious M.I.K.E.'s record for most 3 pointers made during a season in the Holladay Lions Den Arena.
The HLDA has been pleasant in the past for The Disciples, and the team looks to only improve on their performances on its home court this upcoming season.
If they can leave the on-court antics on the sideline with Coach Cuns, this team could be special. Only time will tell what the future holds for this ridiculous squad.
OTHER NOTES:
-Austin Butler arrives late to practice to the angst of other team members. After a heated tweet directed towards management, team officials are yet to comment on further disciplinary action towards the Center.
-Starting PF/C Buckets looks to have improved his outside shot like earlier reports indicated. Knocking down trey's like Ray Allen himself, Buckets said "I'm a shooter and I'm gunning for Latino for the number 1 shooter on this team. Just wait til I pull out the sleeve..."
-Forsie impressed many spectators today with his quick moves and ankle breaking crossovers. But it wasn't his on the court plays that won over the hearts of the Salt Lake Valley. After practice, Forsie took the time to visit the local YMCA and put on a ball handling clinic for the struggling youth of Hollahood. All was going well until Dan-o-mite decided to throw a stink bomb into the gymnasium, forcing an evacuation, and the end of the clinic.
-Drew Ramos impressed many with his strength on the court and low post offense and defense. Being compared to Marc Gasol, grizzly adams lumbered through low post defenders for hard finishes around the rim. The future looks bright for this young disciple.
-Brutus Pendleton was a no show. Mike Breen of ESPN.com reports that Brutus was seen leaving a local 7200 South Winco around 2:30 pm with a grin the size of the valley and a Chinese family of 3. More information will be made public later tonight.
-CUNS
Senior Advisor/Journalist
Moss's Disciples Basketball
WINGS
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
PRESEASON PLAYER REPORTS
Welcome to the official Moss's Disciples website. Let's look at the upcoming 2013-2014 team to help you get to know your Disciples.
Danny Moss, 6-1, Shooting Guard, 4th season
Beginning our list is none other than Dan-o-mite himself. This prolific scorer can craft his art in multiple ways. Whether it's beating his defender off the dribble, a fast break 3, or his world renown fadeway 3, Dan Moss is going to score. A player known best for his pregame antics, Dan-o-mite looks to ramp up the pregame antics more than ever this upcoming season. Recent reports indicate that he has signed a contract with Maybeline make up products, and will warm up naked up to 4 games to promote the companies latest NudeBasic make-up.
Projected Stats:
24 ppg, 3 reb, 4 TO's, 0 ast
James Tingey, 6-0, Shooting Guard, 3rd season
After a brief stint overseas in Guadalejara, Latino Heat is back with the Disciples. His shooting is very much needed on this team, but some question whether or not there will be enough ball to go around for Latino. With Moss headlining the team, doubters wonder whether the two will be able to mesh. When asked about this controversy, team leader Dan-o-mite said "shut the hell up." Tingey brings a stretch-4 mentality to the team, and looks to avenge his senior season under Bernie Graziano. Will he be able to sustain the lengthy duration of the season? Consider him a risky-but-upsided fantasy option at this point. The Reverse Benjamin Button only looks to get healthier as the season goes along, but it could be rough sledding for owners in the first couple of weeks.
Projected Stats:
18 ppg, (6/6 3pt FG), 5 reb, 3 ast, 1 blk, 2 advil
Jake Osterloh, 6-3, Power Forward, 3rd season
The old attage states "I get Buckets." That attage has never been more true for this dynamic player. With hair like Sunshine from Remeber the Titans, Osterloh looks to brighten up the stat sheet in this years return. With the addition of his right-arm sleeve, Buckets adds deep 3-point range to his already versatile game. Look for him to be aggressive on the defensive end, and get into at least one fight a game. Other teams are looking to throw bows, and rumor has it Glendale's TCG has been called in to throw bows at him relentlessly.
Projected Stats:
19 ppg, 9 reb, 3 blk, 4 ast, 5 bows taken to the chest
Steven Forsberg, 6-0, The Point Guard, 5th season
With more experience on the Disciples than possibly Dan-o-mite himself, Forsberg brings much needed veteran leadership and tenacity to the squad. After a stellar 4th season with the team, Fors said that he expects to increase his numbers even more. In a candid interview, he went as far to say that he would even take out Moss's knees if it meant that others could get the ball more. Look for Fors to average around 18 pts, 8 ast's, and 2 rebounds a game this year. A solid fantasy option that's going to put his sandwich in his tin pale and go to work every day for his owners.
Projected Stats:
18.3 ppg, 8 ast, 2 reb, 1 hunny
Austin Butler, 6-8, Center, 1st season
One of the most intriguing additions to the team, Butler looks to mesh well with the existing talent surrounding him. Given a second chance at basketball after serving jail time in the Phillipines, Butler can't wait to get back to the game he loves, and neither can fantasy owners. With an unparalled ability to grab rebounds, he's clearly the number one projected rebounder in this class. Some question his off-court antics, but nobody questions his ability to grab boards and block shots during crucial moments in a game.
Projected Stats:
14 ppg, 14 reb, 4 blk, $1,000 from the Peppermill a week
Casey Taylor, 6-5, SF/PF/C, 1st season
Will he play? That's the question fantasy owners have been asking all off-season. If he does, the Moss's Disciples will surely reap the benefits. Speaking of benefits, some question whether his off court relationship with a certain Brooke World Peace will affect his on court play. Many say this increase in testosterone will only increase his ability to perform. Others indicate that living with Matt Duke is an exhausting task and will take a serious toll on his performance. Only time will tell.
Projected Stats: 27 ppg, 9 reb, 8 ast
Tanner Tovey, 5-11, Shooting Guard, 4th season
The heart of soul of the Disciples, KD brings all the intangibles that a team needs. When healthy, one of the most beneficial players to the squad. Runs the fast break like John Stockton, and can blow by defenders like Speedy Gonzalez. Look for Tovey to do everything that Dan-o-mite won't do. Leaving the chains of Nordstrom, he can now focus on more important things and really tune his game. Meeting with Drake every week has really payed dividends for this aspiring player.
Projected Stats:
12 ppg, 3 ast, 4 reb, +5 for style
We hope you enjoyed these player profiles. More profiles are sure to ensue as additions are made. Be on the lookout for the coaches profiles and a special in-depth article on Brutus Pendleton, and allegations that he paid off a player to keep a scandal quiet.
-CUNS
Senior Advisor to Moss's Disciples
Sideline Reporter
Welcome to the official Moss's Disciples website. Let's look at the upcoming 2013-2014 team to help you get to know your Disciples.
Danny Moss, 6-1, Shooting Guard, 4th season
Beginning our list is none other than Dan-o-mite himself. This prolific scorer can craft his art in multiple ways. Whether it's beating his defender off the dribble, a fast break 3, or his world renown fadeway 3, Dan Moss is going to score. A player known best for his pregame antics, Dan-o-mite looks to ramp up the pregame antics more than ever this upcoming season. Recent reports indicate that he has signed a contract with Maybeline make up products, and will warm up naked up to 4 games to promote the companies latest NudeBasic make-up.
Projected Stats:
24 ppg, 3 reb, 4 TO's, 0 ast
James Tingey, 6-0, Shooting Guard, 3rd season
After a brief stint overseas in Guadalejara, Latino Heat is back with the Disciples. His shooting is very much needed on this team, but some question whether or not there will be enough ball to go around for Latino. With Moss headlining the team, doubters wonder whether the two will be able to mesh. When asked about this controversy, team leader Dan-o-mite said "shut the hell up." Tingey brings a stretch-4 mentality to the team, and looks to avenge his senior season under Bernie Graziano. Will he be able to sustain the lengthy duration of the season? Consider him a risky-but-upsided fantasy option at this point. The Reverse Benjamin Button only looks to get healthier as the season goes along, but it could be rough sledding for owners in the first couple of weeks.
Projected Stats:
18 ppg, (6/6 3pt FG), 5 reb, 3 ast, 1 blk, 2 advil
Jake Osterloh, 6-3, Power Forward, 3rd season
The old attage states "I get Buckets." That attage has never been more true for this dynamic player. With hair like Sunshine from Remeber the Titans, Osterloh looks to brighten up the stat sheet in this years return. With the addition of his right-arm sleeve, Buckets adds deep 3-point range to his already versatile game. Look for him to be aggressive on the defensive end, and get into at least one fight a game. Other teams are looking to throw bows, and rumor has it Glendale's TCG has been called in to throw bows at him relentlessly.
Projected Stats:
19 ppg, 9 reb, 3 blk, 4 ast, 5 bows taken to the chest
Steven Forsberg, 6-0, The Point Guard, 5th season
With more experience on the Disciples than possibly Dan-o-mite himself, Forsberg brings much needed veteran leadership and tenacity to the squad. After a stellar 4th season with the team, Fors said that he expects to increase his numbers even more. In a candid interview, he went as far to say that he would even take out Moss's knees if it meant that others could get the ball more. Look for Fors to average around 18 pts, 8 ast's, and 2 rebounds a game this year. A solid fantasy option that's going to put his sandwich in his tin pale and go to work every day for his owners.
Projected Stats:
18.3 ppg, 8 ast, 2 reb, 1 hunny
Austin Butler, 6-8, Center, 1st season
One of the most intriguing additions to the team, Butler looks to mesh well with the existing talent surrounding him. Given a second chance at basketball after serving jail time in the Phillipines, Butler can't wait to get back to the game he loves, and neither can fantasy owners. With an unparalled ability to grab rebounds, he's clearly the number one projected rebounder in this class. Some question his off-court antics, but nobody questions his ability to grab boards and block shots during crucial moments in a game.
Projected Stats:
14 ppg, 14 reb, 4 blk, $1,000 from the Peppermill a week
Casey Taylor, 6-5, SF/PF/C, 1st season
Will he play? That's the question fantasy owners have been asking all off-season. If he does, the Moss's Disciples will surely reap the benefits. Speaking of benefits, some question whether his off court relationship with a certain Brooke World Peace will affect his on court play. Many say this increase in testosterone will only increase his ability to perform. Others indicate that living with Matt Duke is an exhausting task and will take a serious toll on his performance. Only time will tell.
Projected Stats: 27 ppg, 9 reb, 8 ast
Tanner Tovey, 5-11, Shooting Guard, 4th season
The heart of soul of the Disciples, KD brings all the intangibles that a team needs. When healthy, one of the most beneficial players to the squad. Runs the fast break like John Stockton, and can blow by defenders like Speedy Gonzalez. Look for Tovey to do everything that Dan-o-mite won't do. Leaving the chains of Nordstrom, he can now focus on more important things and really tune his game. Meeting with Drake every week has really payed dividends for this aspiring player.
Projected Stats:
12 ppg, 3 ast, 4 reb, +5 for style
We hope you enjoyed these player profiles. More profiles are sure to ensue as additions are made. Be on the lookout for the coaches profiles and a special in-depth article on Brutus Pendleton, and allegations that he paid off a player to keep a scandal quiet.
-CUNS
Senior Advisor to Moss's Disciples
Sideline Reporter
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